Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
