If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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