Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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