3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
