i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
