I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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