I cannot find my penis.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
