I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
