please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
