Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
