yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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