before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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