What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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