absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
