Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I don't deserve a penis
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
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