Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
