Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
