do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize