I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
