I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
