He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
