I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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