So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
