He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
