Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
