It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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