we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
