Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
