OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
