"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
