I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
