I will die if light touches me.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
