Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Randomize
