my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
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