He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
