she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
The power of my boobs compel you
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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