Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
