I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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