This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize