highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize