In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
