We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
