I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize