hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize