i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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