thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
