check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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