What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
