If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
