Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Swine flu. Run for my life!
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
She bit a glass in half.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
So much Jack, so little girl.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize