is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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