Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
