Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
