You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
