The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize