Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
