My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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