Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He better not be in your backpack
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize