clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just had sex on a roof
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
