OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Randomize
