He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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