i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
